I'm Dave.
Hi, I'm Dave!
I'm Not-Dave
And I'm not.

About Despicable Bastards Entertainment™

The men, the myths, the alcohol

Despicable Bastards Entertainment started with an idea in June 2015. A father and his son sat playing a popular party game. You know the one, with the cards and the questions and the answers and the creators who think their shit doesn't stink. Yeah. Anyway...

In response to one of the question cards, the father (we'll call him Dave, because that's his name) decided to blurt out an answer instead of using one of the cards in his hands: 12-year-old girls! The son (who we'll call Not-Dave, because Dave isn't his name) laughed so hard he nearly pooped. Not really, but you weren't there, so you don't know that. Not-Dave loved 12-year-old girls. He couldn't get enough of 12-year-old-girls! He started using 12-year-old girls every chance he got! Not-Dave is starting to sound like a sick, sick mofo! Maybe we better move on.

Not-Dave, who we should clarify is not a pervert (well, not that kind of pervert), suggested to Dave to write down the idea. Dave, being old and forgetful, had no clue what the hell Not-Dave was talking about. After a number of reminders, Dave took Not-Dave's advice, grabbed a notebook, a pen and a big glass of vodka (to help with the creative process, of course) and wrote "Card ideas" at the top of the page, followed by "12 yr ald grils" (remember, vodka) on the first line. As the night went on, Dave and Not-Dave (after Dave couldn't see the paper clearly) wrote down ideas for several more cards.

The next day, Dave looked over what the two had written. "What the fuck is this shit?" Dave said, ripping the page out of the notebook, balling it up and tossing it in the garbage. "It's the card ideas we had last night, you demented old dick!" Not-Dave responded, fetching the list from the rubbish. "Who the hell are you?" asked Dave. "You look like me, only uglier!" Okay, so we're exaggerating how old and forgetful Dave is, and may be embellishing the story a bit. But at least this way is slightly more interesting.

Look, it really did start with the idea for the 12-year-old girls card. Within a week, Dave and Not-Dave had come up with a total of 90 cards. They had them printed and started using them when they played the game with friends. The cards were enjoyed a great deal, and Dave and Not-Dave decided then and there that they would try to make a go of producing expansion sets.

Fast-forward several months. Dave and Not-Dave had by this time come up with over 900 card ideas. They called their cards Crap Amidst Hilarity, and didn't do too bad with sales. Dave, in the meantime, had come up with ideas for a couple of other games. Not-Dave had decided the two should also do videos to post on YouTube. So the pair worked on designing the games and making the videos.

In September of 2015, Crap Amidst Hilarity was officially released. This was followed in November by the release of Crap Amidst Hilarity - The Second Dumping as well as Crap Amidst Hilarity - Dump the Third. In December, Crap Amidst Hilarity - Quadraphonic Dump was also released. Then, in January of 2016, things happened. We won't go into detail, but it would prove to be a pivotal point for the two Despicable Bastards.

As time went on, the two decided to restructure their Crap Amidst Hilarity expansions and make them a stand-alone game under the new title Craps And Laughs. Development of the board games You're Going to Hell! and The Church of Gail Game became more serious. They also had more ideas for videos that did not fit into the We're Rubbish at Games channel they had been using.

So it was that they decided to expand the restructuring from just the card game to their entire ever-growing endeavors. Clearly, all of the games belonged to one aspect of the company, while all of the videos belonged to another. In May 2016, Despicable Bastards Productions hacked itself free from Despicable Bastards Games and took over the responsibility of everything related to the videos. In a bizarre perversion of how reproduction works, the sibling entities then gave birth to their parent entity, Despicable Bastards Entertainment.

And that, boys and girls, is where babies come from. Umm... We mean, that is the more-or-less true story of how Despicable Bastards came about.

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